I need you right now. I’m a mess. I miss you. I want to pop some sleeping pills. Just because I know they give me weird dreams and I’d love for a chance to see you in my dreams. I don’t even have California to look forward to anymore. This is so hard. I want you here with me so bad. I want you to be the one telling me how to check my oil, not my dad. I want you to explains things to me that I don’t understand. I want you to hug me and tell me you don’t hate for me not being able to go to your graduation. I hate that I can’t. And I hate that I’m hoping you’ll be washed back so I can. I never want you to have to be in bootcamp longer than you should, but just one week more and I can be there for you. I feel terrible. I hate this situation. I hate that my mom told me she’s proud of my adult decision. I want to just say fuck it all and go and see you. Fuck the job. Fuck the money. Fuck.